The Techno-Color Yawn Express

11 Jan

I woke up today feeling a bit reflective. It’s DAY 9 of this stinkin’ cleanse and I am prouder of myself than I can remember being. This is the longest I’ve stuck with anything remotely like this. Ever. I always have great intentions. But I usually toss those suckers out with the compost by day 4 or 5. And. I’m. Done. With. That.

But this shit has been HARD. Minutes after I posted last, I ran to the bathroom and began a two-hour vomit fest. And since that would be maybe the 6th time I’ve puked EVER, it was not a small deal. The hubby was calling out from the other room, “What are you DOING?” I could hear the bafflement in his voice through my yaks. And I had no answer. Just yelled, “Stay away!” Because really, Even after 21+7 years. Who needs to see that.

It was over pretty fast. Luckily. And I am still stymied. It definitely could have been a fast moving bug. But I’m still thinking that I am the Chernobyl of body toxins. (With a Vesuvius outcome.)

I was fine by the evening. Ate dinner. No mishaps. And even met a client for lunch the next day. Done.

Eating out was my first big challenge. But. Modmarket + Low Key Client = Easy. My favorite part of the lunch was when she said, “Do you watch Mad Men? I just started watching it and thought, ‘That’s what Cassy does.’” I laughed out loud and gestured to our salads and herbal teas. “Yep. That’s exactly it!”

The next big challenge was girls’ night. This is a group that I’ve been super tight with since our twenties. Pre-kids. And we still manage to gather a few times a year and whoop it up. These girls all have well-seasoned livers and we put them through their paces on these fine evenings. Wine bottles usually outnumber the group by a few. I was nervous. But I missed the last one because I was in Italy. So.

I planned for it well. Offered to be the DD. Decided that this would be my beef night (I’m allowed beef once a week, but only the grass-fed, organic super clean stuff). Planned out an herbal/hibiscus tea “cocktail.” Then packed my salad dressing, homemade chimichurri for my beef, some veggies and hummus for avoiding the inevitable cheese plate — and off I went.

There were a lot of questions. A lot of ribbing. And the night went fine. I probably ate more than I have been. But being the only sober one in the group was hilarious. My biggest realization was that the conversations rarely track. Luckily they had me to get them back on point. 🙂

I didn’t get home until 1am. The best part? Waking up the next day and feeling totally GREAT. Score.

Then came the b-day party. This one was going to be interesting too. But mostly for the girls. I prepped then and said, “Remember, this is all up to you guys. Do whatever feels right to you. But if you want to try to stick to this, I’ll support you too.” They decided to stick to it, so we opted to grab Chipotle as a consolation prize. Plenty of safe detox options there.

It was Mels Bells girl’s bday. At a trampoline place. So the exercise was ready and waiting. But when lunchtime came, the whoopie pies were a particularly hard thing to skip for bean. She came to me in tears, so torn about wanting one, but wanting to stick to the cleanse. I felt terrible for her. I told her that this was all up to her and that if she wanted it, she should have it. (But only a small bit. I was flashing back to my day o’ vomit.) She cried a bit more, dried her eyes on my sweater, and then opted for a small piece. Tragedy narrowly averted. That kid is so hard on herself…

Last night, I hugged her and told her how very proud I was of her for sticking to this like she has — what with being only eight and all. She teared up and got the biggest grin on her face. That. Made. My. Week.

So. Weekend 1. Challenging, But did it. The first eight days? Let’s just say I’m super happy to be upright, out of the powder room, with no headache and off to spend a few hours of girl time with the Teen Queen.

Sayonara week one. You can suck it.IMG_6044

TODAY’S THEME SONG (this one’s for Lady Lou, TRPL TRBL, HK, E, and Chad): Red Hot Chilis. Suck My Kiss. Do me like a banshee. Low brow is how. Swimming in the sound of bow wow wow.


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