>If you don’t have anything nice to say…

22 Aug

>So Tuesday was the first day of school. Happy day. And then.

The brother of my dear friend, TRPL TRBL, was tragically killed while riding his motorcycle on Angeles Crest Highway — just east of LA. I got the news that evening as my friend was being transported, via hired car, back to Boulder from a work event that the hubby was attending as well. I think time may have stopped. Or maybe it was just my brain. It was one of those knee-buckling moments that you never quite file away. I can barely write these words without crying. I called her in the car and we talked as she rode. Alone in the back of a Town Car.

So after all of the stuff: rushing to my friend’s side, crying buckets, toasting him with a bottle of wine vintage his birth year (1980), and so on…the friends were off to CA to mourn. And I was still here. Waiting for the hubby to return from his trip. I was so tired of being alone. Even with friends and neighbors, I just needed him here. He was having a tough time too and having to grin and bear it through countless meetings and conference sessions. It sucked. Still does.

Today, I talked to TRPL TRBL and she said it was in today’s paper. The first thing I found was an article. Then I realized she meant the obit. I found that too. But not before making the error of reading some of the posted comments. Rage overtook me as I looked through the various assumptions of idiots who said, in essence, “another one bites the dust.” These people decided that he was obviously at fault. Guilty-as-charged. And they have no f-ing idea. And what difference does it make anyway? He’s gone. In the prime of his life.

So I registered myself on the site and posted a comment. Something to the effect of, “have some decency and realize this was a person who left people behind.” Damn it. And they took that as an opening to focus their tirades on me. A grieving friend.

I really can’t believe that people can be such insensitive jerks. Really.

So, on that note, I thought I’d include some words from our departed friend and brother, David, that ring so true and important in the wake of what happened to him:

October 1, 2005
Friends and family,

Today was my first taste of Oktoberfest as I arrived this afternoon into Munich. It was great and you will all hear more after I take some time to think about my grandfather`s death, which I just received word about. Although I knew this was coming it has still left me very stunned.

So perhaps we could all take some time today to call a family member and let them know of our love. It won`t take long (well, the longer the better) and it will bring a smile to both faces on each end of the line. If I can make a call overseas then you can use your weekend minutes to tell someone whom you don`t often see or talk to that you love them.


You do that. And we’ll all try to go on without this bright, shining light.

TODAY’S THEME SONG: Lazy Eye. Silverspun Pickups. I’ve been waiting. I’ve been waiting for this silence all night long. It’s just a matter of time. To appear sad.


One Response to “>If you don’t have anything nice to say…”

  1. Bubble Girl September 3, 2008 at 3:26 pm #

    >Sigh. I have had an influx of bad news lately, culminating with the news of the sudden death of a once-removed friend, and I just decided to read your blog after not having read it in awhile. (Sorry I’m so out of touch.) It’s tragedy all over the place.


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